i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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