Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
