Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize