And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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