I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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