Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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