yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
