You're my little dorito
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
