im six kinds of drunk right now
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
