I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
