her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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