Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
