I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
