I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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