Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
