he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
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