Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
