we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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