the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
