Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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