I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
