I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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