areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
