rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize