Just fell off a train. Bad.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
