I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
