You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
did you just send me my own nude
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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