I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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