I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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