Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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