I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
