after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.