The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
