i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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