No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
