I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.