Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving