Just fell off a train. Bad.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize