Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
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