Cold hands, warm shart.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
So vagazzling was a success
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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