is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize