It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
