I feel like abortions should bother me more
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You ruined the universe
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize