even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
