i just wanna soil my oats bro
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
