the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize