Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
