her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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