Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
