i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he was CRYING into my vagina
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
