Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize