Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Randomize
