i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
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its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
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He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I forget how to act sober
Randomize