please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize