This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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